Hijabed like Me: A Non-Muslim Woman Experiments with Hijab

I walked down the street in my long white dress and inch-long, black hair one after-noon, and truck drivers whistled and shouted obscenities at me. I felt defeated. I had just stepped out of a hair salon. I had cut my hair short, telling the hairdresser to trim it as she would a guy's. I sat numbly as my hairdresser skillfully sheared into my shoulder-length hair with her scissors, asking me with every inch she cut off if I was freaking out yet. I wasn't freaking out, but I felt self-mutilated.



I was obliterating my femininity:

It wasn't just another haircut. It meant so much more. I was trying to appear andro-gynous by cutting my hair. I wanted to obliterate my femininity. Yet that did not prevent some men from treating me as a sex object. I was mistaken. It was not my femininity that was problematic, but my sexuality, or rather the sexuality that some men had ascribed to me based on my biological sex. They reacted to me as they saw me and not as I truly am. Why should it even matter how they see me, as long as I know who I am? But it does. I believe that men who see women as only sexual beings often commit violence against them, such as rape and battery. Sexual abuse and assault are not only my fears, but my reality.

I was molested and raped. My experiences with men who violated me have made me angry and frustrated. How do I stop the violence? How do I prevent men from seeing me as an object rather than a female? How do I stop them from equating the two? How do I pro-ceed with life after experiencing what others only dread? The experiences have left me with questions about my identity. Am I just another Chinese-American female? I used to think that I have to arrive at a conclusion about who I am, but now I realize that my identity is constantly evolving.


My experience of being “hijabed”:

One experience that was particularly educational was when I “dressed up” as a Mus-lim woman for a drive along Crenshaw Boulevard with three Muslim men as part of a newsmagazine project. I wore a white, long-sleeved cotton shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, and a flowery silk scarf that covered my head, which I borrowed from a Muslim woman. [1] Not only did I look the part, I believed I felt the part. Of course, I wouldn't really know what it feels like to be hijabed. I coined this word for the lack of a better term everyday, because I was not raised with Islamic teachings. However, people perceived me as a Muslim woman and did not treat me as a sexual being by making cruel remarks. I noticed that men's eyes did not glide over my body as has happened when I wasn't hijabed. I was fully clothed, exposing only my face.


I remembered walking into an Islamic center and an African-American gentleman in-side addressed me as “sister,” and asked where I came from. I told him I was originally from China. That didn't seem to matter. There was a sense of closeness between us because he assumed I was Muslim. I didn't know how to break the news to him because I wasn't sure if I was or not. I walked into the store that sold African jewelry and furniture and another gen-tleman asked me as I was walking out if I was Muslim. I looked at him and smiled, not know-ing how to respond. I chose not to answer.


Being hijabed changed others' perception of me:

Outside the store, I asked one of the Muslim men I was with, “Am I Muslim?” He ex-plained that everything that breathes and submits is. I have concluded that I may be and just don't know it. I haven't labeled myself as such yet. I don't know enough about Islam to assert that I am Muslim.


Though I don't pray five times a day, go to a mosque, fast, nor cover my head with a scarf daily, this does not mean that I am not Muslim.[2] These seem to be the natural manifestations of what is within. How I am inside does not directly change whether I am hijabed or not. It is others' perception of me that was changed. Repeated experiences with others in turn create a self-image.


Hijab as oppression: a superficial and misguided view:

I consciously chose to be hijabed because I was searching for respect from men.[3] In-itially, as both Women's Studies major and a thinking female, I bought into the Western view that the wearing of a scarf is oppressive. After this experience and much reflection, I have arrived at the conclusion that such a view is superficial and misguided.

The most liberating experience of my life:

I covered up that day out of choice, and it was the most liberating experience of my life. I now see alternatives to being a woman. I discovered that the way I dress dictated others' reaction towards me. It saddens me that this is a reality. It is a reality that I have accepted, and chose to conquer rather than be conquered by it. It was my sexuality that I covered, not my femininity. The covering of the former allowed the liberation of the latter.


(This article was originally published in Al-Talib, the newsmagazine of the Muslim Stu-dents' Association of the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA) in October 1994. At the time of its publication, Kathy Chin was a senior at UCLA majoring in Psychobiology and Women's Studies. )



Footnotes:

1. This does not mean that it is the Islamic hijab.

2. To be a Muslim, you must testify that “There is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.” (Reviewer)

3. If you choose to be a Muslim, it should be because you want the right way of Allah regardless any other intention. (Reviewer)




Witten by: Kathy Chin
Reviewer: Abu Adham Osama Omara (Islamhouse.com)

Women Wearing High Heels?

What is the ruling on women wearing high heels?



Praise be to Allaah.


Wearing high heels is not permissible because it exposes women to the risk of falling, and we are commanded in sharee’ah to avoid danger in a general sense, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And do not kill yourselves”
[al-Nisa’ 4:29]

“and do not throw yourselves into destruction”
[al-Baqarah 2:195]


It also makes women look taller than they really are and makes their posteriors appear more prominent, and this is a kind of deception and showing the adornments which the believing woman is forbidden to show, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam)” [al-Noor 24:31]
From Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, Majallat al-Buhooth, 9/46.


Moreover, it also makes a woman lean forward (maa’ilah ila al-amaam), so there is the fear that the warning issued to those women who walk with an enticing gait (al-maa’ilaat al-mumilaat) may apply to her too [in the hadeeth which says that such women will never even smell the fragrance of Paradise from afar]. It also harms the back, as has been proven medically. The heels also make a sound which attracts the attention of men and is a temptation to them. We ask Allaah to keep us all safe and sound.



Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
http://www.islamqa.com/

     ...........................................................................................

Five Risks of Wearing High Heels Revealed

Over the years, high heeled shoes continue to be a popular fashion trend. So popular, it is causing some women to surgically alter their feet in order to fit into them. Even without this, there are health risks associated with wearing high heels.



1. A high heeled shoe forces the posture into an unnatural position that significantly stresses the joints. The spine, which in flat shoes is reasonably straight, forms more of an 'S' shape with the chest and lower back pushing forward and the hips pushed back. The height of the heel also changes the amount of weight on the forefoot. A 1-inch heel will increase the pressure by 22%; a 2-inch heel by 57%; and a 3-inch heel by 76%. This increased pressure puts the forefoot at risk for injuries such as stress fractures, bunions, and hammertoes.


2. Knee pain is common when high heels are involved. The heel height causes increased strain on the knee joint and associated tendons. The quadriceps muscle group in the front of the thigh works harder, increasing pressure on the kneecap by up to 26%. This can ultimately increase the incidence of osteoarthritis of the knee and quadriceps tendinitis.


3. When the heel is constantly elevated, the calf muscle and Achilles tendon can contract and shorten. Wearing high heels habitually can result in a woman no longer able to tolerate a flat shoe. On occasion, this can even require surgery to lengthen the Achilles tendon. Most often, however, this will increase the chances of Achilles tendinitis or shin splints.


4. The changes in posture and overall imbalance will lead to instability when walking and a resulting risk of ankle sprains. High heels, especially stilettos, will lead to instability and a major increase in ankle sprains result. An ankle sprain is caused from the twisting of the ankle and results in a tear of the ligaments that connect the foot and leg bones and stabilize the ankle. When the heel is balancing on a narrow stiletto heel, if the heel shifts outward slightly a sudden twist may occur to sprain these ligaments. Swelling, bruising and pain will result. At worst, it is possible for the ankle to fracture, a ligament can pull a piece of bone off, or even a bone in the foot can break due to the pull of a tendon.


5. High heels are enjoyed by most women because they are "cute." They are narrow and are contoured to make the foot look slender. The tight fit of many heels will force the toes to conform to its shape. The added pressure on the toes can exacerbate bunions and hammertoes. The pressure of the shoe itself can cause corns to form. Furthermore. The compression of the metatarsal bones can cause pressure on the nerves that run between them. A Morton's neuroma, which is a growth and inflammation of the nerve, can form due to the pressure. Remember, a shoe is meant to fit the foot, not squeeze it relentlessly.


By Dr. Andrew Schneider
(Dr. Andrew Schneider is a podiatrist in Houston)

High heels dangerous to your health

The idea that high heels can be hazardous to your health isn't new—orthopedists have warned women for years that high heels can contribute to the development of a variety of conditions from corns and calluses to hammertoes, arthritis, chronic knee pain, sprained ankles and back problems.
Researchers link high heels and knee osteoarthritis, a painful, degenerative joint disease.

In 1998, a team of Harvard researchers linked high heels and knee osteoarthritis, a painful, degenerative joint disease characterized by the breakdown of the cartilage surrounding the knee. In that study, D. Casey Kerrigan, MD, associate professor of physical medicine at Harvard Medical School, and her team looked at very narrow, stiletto heels.


Wide heels no better

The researchers decided to look at the chunkier heels now in fashion to determine if they too are harmful to women's knees. The latest study, which appears in the April 7, 2001, issue of The Lancet, demonstrates that wide heels increase the risk of developing osteoarthritis in the knee as much as, or more than, spindly-heeled stilettos.


"Wide-heeled shoes give you the perception of more stability when you're standing, and they feel comfortable, so women wear them all day long," Kerrigan said. "They are better for your feet than stiletto heels, but just as bad for your knees."


Study measures knee torque

The study subjects were 20 healthy women with an average age of 34 and an average weight of 130 pounds. Each woman received one pair of shoes with a heel approximately 1.75 inches wide and another pair of shoes with a heel width of about half an inch. Both pairs were 2.7 inches high.
Study participants were then asked to walk 10 meters or about 32 feet, once in narrow-heeled shoes, once in wide-heeled shoes and once barefoot. Researchers measured knee torque, how much the knee twisted during each walk.
Low-heeled shoes or no heels are a woman's safest bet against osteoarthritic knees.

Both types of shoes increased knee joint pressure—26 percent more for wide-heeled shoes and 22 percent for narrow-heeled shoes. This kind of repetitive stress to the knee elevates the risk for osteoarthritis, according to physicians. Low-heeled shoes or no heels, researchers conclude, are a woman's safest bet against osteoarthritic knees.
"It takes a long time to feel the effects of knee osteoarthritis, and once you do, it's too late," said Dr. Kerrigan.
Eighty percent of the 42 million Americans suffering from arthritis have osteoarthritis, in which joint cartilage and surrounding bone progressively degrade from wear and tear. Surgeons perform 300,000 artificial knee replacements in this country every year due to this condition.


By Dr Enzo J. Sella
(Dr. Sella is an attending orthopedic surgeon at Yale-New Haven Hospital )
http://www.ynhh.org/

A Woman on a Mission.

My Journey to Islam.

Aisha Bhutta, also known as Debbie Rogers, is serene. She sits on the sofa in big front room of her tenement flat in Cowcaddens, Glasgow. The walls are hung with quotations from the Koran, a special clock to remind the family of prayer times and posters of the Holy City of Mecca. Aisha's piercing blue eyes sparkle with evangelical zeal, she smiles with a radiance only true believers possess. Her face is that of a strong Scots lass - no nonsense, good-humoured - but it is carefully covered with a hijab.


For a good Christian girl to convert to Islam and marry a Muslim is extraordinary enough. But more than that, she has also converted her parents, most of the rest of her family and at least 30 friends and neighbours.

Her family were austere Christians with whom Rogers regularly attended Salvation Army meetings. When all the other teenagers in Britain were kissing their George Michael posters goodnight, Rogers had pictures of Jesus up on her wall. And yet she found that Christianity was not enough; there were too many unanswered questions and she felt dissatisfied with the lack of disciplined structure for her beliefs. "There had to be more for me to obey than just doing prayers when I felt like it."

Aisha had first seen her future husband, Mohammad Bhutta, when she was 10 and regular customer at the shop, run by his family. She would see him in the back, praying. "There was contentment and peace in what he was doing. He said he was a Muslim. I said: What's a Muslim?".

Later with his help she began looking deeper into Islam. By the age of 17, she had read the entire Koran in Arabic. "Everything I read", she says, "was making sense."

She made the decision to convert at16. "When I said the words, it was like a big burden I had been carrying on my shoulders had been thrown off. I felt like a new-born baby."

Despite her conversion however, Mohammed's parents were against their marrying. They saw her as a Western woman who would lead their eldest son astray and give the family a bad name; she was, Mohammed's father believed, "the biggest enemy."

Nevertheless, the couple married in the local mosque. Aisha wore a dress hand-sewn by Mohammed's mother and sisters who sneaked into the ceremony against the wishes of his father who refused to attend.

It was his elderly grandmother who paved the way for a bond between the women. She arrived from Pakistan where mixed-race marriages were even more taboo, and insisted on meeting Aisha. She was so impressed by the fact that she had learned the Koran and Punjabi that she convinced the others; slowly, Aisha, now 32, became one of the family.

Aisha's parents, Michael and Marjory Rogers, though did attend the wedding, were more concerned with the clothes their daughter was now wearing (the traditional shalwaar kameez) and what the neighbours would think. Six years later, Aisha embarked on a mission to convert them and the rest of her family, bar her sister ("I'm still working on her). "My husband and I worked on my mum and dad, telling them about Islam and they saw the changes in me, like I stopped answering back!"

Her mother soon followed in her footsteps. Marjory Rogers changed her name to Sumayyah and became a devout Muslim. "She wore the hijab and did her prayers on time and nothing ever mattered to her except her connections with God."

Aisha's father proved a more difficult recruit, so she enlisted the help of her newly converted mother (who has since died of cancer). "My mumand I used to talk to my father about Islam and we were sitting in the sofa in the kitchen one day and he said: "What are the words you say when you become a Muslim?" "Me and my mum just jumped on top of him." Three years later, Aisha's brother converted "over the telephone - thanks to BT", then his wife and children followed, followed by her sister's son.
It didn't stop there. Her family converted, Aisha turned her attention to Cowcaddens, with its tightly packed rows of crumbling, gray tenement flats. Every Monday for the past 13 years, Aisha has held classes in
Islam for Scottish women. So far she has helped to convert over 30. The women come from a bewildering array of backgrounds. Trudy, a lecturer at the University of Glasgow and a former Catholic, attended Aisha's classes purely because she was commissioned to carry out some research. But after six months of classes she converted, deciding that Christianity was riddled with "logical inconsistencies". "I could tell she was beginning to be affected by the talks", Aisha says. How could she tell? "I don't know, it was just a feeling."

The classes include Muslim girls tempted by Western ideals and need in salvation, practicing Muslim women who want an open forum for discussion denied them at the local male-dominated mosque, and those simply interested in Islam. Aisha welcomes questions. "We cannot expect people blindly to believe."

Her husband, Mohammad Bhutta, now 41, does not seem so driven to convert Scottish lads to Muslim brothers. He occasionally helps out in the family restaurant, but his main aim in life is to ensure the couple's five children grow up as Muslims. The eldest, Safia, "nearly 14, Al-Humdlillaah (Praise be to God!)", is not averse to a spot of recruiting herself. One day she met a woman in the street and carried her shopping, the woman attended Aisha's classes and is now a Muslim.
"I can honestly say I have never regretted it", Aisha says of her conversion to Islam. "Every marriage has its ups and downs and sometimes you need something to pull you out of any hardship. But the Prophet Peace by upon him, said: 'Every hardship has an ease.' So when you're going through a difficult stage, you work for that ease to come."
Mohammed is more romantic: "I feel we have known each other for centuries and must never part from one another. According to Islam, you are not just partners for life, you can be partners in heaven as well, for ever. Its a beautiful thing, you know."


From: The Guardian Newspaper, England
           (islamweb.net)

The Promise of Allah.

After burying three babies, Umm Nuha reflects on the power of Allah (SWT)’s promise of ease after difficulty.

I tear up as I lie in bed nursing my almost-2-yearold little girl. Her warm hands stroke my tummy while my arms blanket her as she drifts off to sleep. I knew that weaning her would be difficult for me and now, I find myself turning to Allah, asking Him for the strength to get us both through this weaning process.
I imagine that many mothers feel this way about weaning. Many of them have told me that when the time came, they just knew that it was time. That they got to a point when they felt that it was enough. I haven’t reached that point. And I don’t think that I ever will. I have been thinking about this day since the first time that I fed her.

As her body relaxes into a deep sleep, I am reminded of my other children. Three of them, who all grew inside me by the permission of Allah, and all three who, by His decree, have returned to Him. And again, I cry. I think of the longing that I had to nourish them with the breastmilk that my body had produced for each one them. The milk that was forced to dry up because my children were stillborn. And yet, I do not wish that things were any different to what they are today. How can I argue with my Lord, whose love for me is greater than my love for my own children?

When I began my journey into motherhood, I had no idea that it would take this course. I had read so many books about pregnancy, but no-one wants a pregnant woman to read about stillbirth, let alone think about it, so it wasn’t even on my radar. The very word itself - stillbirth - is one that people find difficult to say. No-one expects this to happen to them. Especially when they are young and healthy. Perhaps, I was one of those women who thought that it would never happen to me.

I really wish that I had read an article titled ‘What to expect when what you were expecting does not happen’. And I wish that everyone I know had read it too. I want everyone to know that I carried my babies for many months. That I felt them kick inside me, that I talked to them, dreamed of them, and longed for them. I want people to know that they were alive at one point - that Allah had given to each of them a ruh (soul), and then He (SWT) I took their ruh back to Him. I want people to know that I gave birth to them, and my husband and I held them, and named them. We held our children’s lifeless bodies in our arms and said hello and goodbye all at the same time. And then, my husband had to bury them. The grief was overwhelming and suffocating. I couldn’t see how I would surmount it at the time.

I read the following hadith: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, `Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (SWT) then asks, `Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, `What did my slave say?’ They say: `He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: `Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baytul- Hamd (the House of Praise).’ Reported by Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him).

As I tried to fight my way through the fog that hung over my every thought, I slowly came to realize that I was now part of this special club of bereaved parents who were all hoping to get their reward in the Aakhirah. I often recited Surah Al Inshiraah (The Solace) during all of my pregnancies. I clung to the verses for hope: ‘Verily after hardship comes Ease. Verily after Hardship comes Ease’. It is a certainty. Such a certainty that Allah (SWT) says it twice. Each of my children brought their own barakah with them. My husband and I were closer to each other and to Allah as we journeyed through this together.
About 4 years after I gasped for breath during the silent labour of my firstborn, I was back in labour, but this time, living the promise of Allah. As I heard my fourth child take her first breath, I knew without reservation that Allah’s promise was true. Her name is Yusra. It couldn’t have been anything else really.

My daughter is now the ease in my moments of grief. I am a very different parent to her than what I would have been had I not had her siblings. I try to be more patient, I try not to take a single second for granted. I often find that I am misunderstood by people who label me as an overprotective mother. But the truth is, I am trying to fit the love of 4 children into just one of them, and I am already running out of time. I don’t do it because I feel that I have to. I want to savour every single second. I feed off it. It nourishes me. It makes me feel...like I can breathe. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in the shadow of my grief, but I do want to her know that she is living proof that Allah (SWT) does indeed listen to prayers, and that He answers them.

Time and grief both clarify many things for you. For me, I have to come to realise who my closest friends are - those who never tire of hearing my story. After parenting Yusra, I can only now imagine the pain that my parents felt at having to watch their daughter go through what I did. But more than anything, what has become clearer than anything else, is that I know that Allah made a promise to me, and He fulfilled it in more ways than I can ever count. And for that, I can never be sufficiently thankful. For that, I will wake up every 2 hours at night to feed my daughter. I will nurse her for the full term that Allah mentions in the Qur’an. I will give thanks for every smile and I will capture it in my mind forever. For every cuddle that I give to her, I will then give her 3 more for each of her siblings. And I will pray to Allah to make them preparers for us for Jannah, and good rewards, and stored treasures, and interceders, and those whose intercessions are accepted.

Meaning of the lack in reason and religious commitment in women.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not seen any lacking in reason and religious commitment but (at the same time) more able to rob the wisdom of the wise, except one of you [women].” They said: How are we lacking in religious commitment and reason, O Messenger of Allaah? He said: “Is not the testimony of a woman like half the testimony of a man?” They said: Yes. He said: “That is how she is lacking in reason.
And when she menstruates, does she not refrain from praying and fasting?” They said: Yes. He said: “That is how she is lacking in religious commitment.” So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained that her lacking in reason refers to her weak memory, and that her testimony must be supported by the testimony of another woman, in order to confirm the testimony, because she may forget, and add something to or take something away from her testimony, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her”

[al-Baqarah 2:282].

With regard to her lacking in religious commitment, that is because when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth, she does not pray or fast, and she does not make up the missed prayers, so this is lacking in religious commitment. But this lacking is not something for which she is called to account or blamed, rather it is something that happens by the will of Allaah; for He is the One Who has prescribed that out of kindness towards her and so as to make things easier for her, because if she were to fast during menses and nifaas, that would harm her. By His mercy Allaah has prescribed that she should not fast at the time of menses and nifaas, and she should make it up after that.

With regard to prayer, at the time of menses she is unable to purify herself, so by His mercy Allaah has prescribed that she should not pray, and the same applies to nifaas, and He has not prescribed that she should make it up, because making it up would be very difficult, as prayers are offered five times a day, and menses may last for several days, seven or eight or more, and nifaas may last as long as forty days. So by His mercy and kindness towards her, Allaah has waived the duty of offering and making up prayers.

This does not mean that her reason is lacking entirely, or that her religious commitment is lacking entirely, rather the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained that the lack in her reasoning has to do with what may happen of her testimony not being accurate, and the lack in her religious commitment has to do with what may happen of her missing prayers and fasts at the time of menses and nifaas. But that does not imply that she is less than a man in everything, or that a man is better than her in everything.

Yes, the male gender is superior to the female gender in general, for many reasons, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34].

But a woman may sometimes surpass a man in many things. How often has a woman surpassed men in her reason, religious commitment and memory. What is narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with regard to the female gender being inferior to the male gender in reason and religious commitment is from this point of view, which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained.

A woman may do a great deal of righteous deeds and thus surpass many men in her righteous deeds, fear of Allaah and status in the Hereafter. She may have a great deal of interest in some matters and thus able to give proper testimony, better than that of some men in some issues in which she has an interest. She may strive in memorization and understanding these issues, thus becoming a reference point with regard to Islamic history and many other things. This is clear to anyone who studies the state of women at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and after that.

Thus it is clear that this lack does not mean that women cannot be relied on in narration (of hadeeth etc) or in giving testimony, if it is supported by another woman. It also does not mean that she does not fear Allaah or that she cannot be among the best of Allaah’s slave and the best of the female slaves of Allaah, if she adheres strictly to Islam. Although fasting is waived for her at the time of menses and nifaas, she has to make it up, and even prayer is waived in her case, but she does not have to make it up. This does not imply that she is lacking in all things when it comes to fearing Allaah, obeying His commands and becoming well-versed in matters that are of interest to her. It is a lack that is specific to reason and religious commitment, in the way that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained. So the believer should not accuse her of being lacking in all things, or of being weak in religious commitment in all aspects, rather it is a specific type of lacking that has to do with her religious commitment and reason, which has to do with accuracy of testimony and so on. So she should be treated fairly and the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) should be interpreted in the best possible manner. And Allaah knows best.


Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
Majallat al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah (29/100-102).

www.islamqa.com

The empowerment of women, but at what price?

It is odd for a Muslim to see the workings of humans against their very own nature. The most evident example of this is demonstrated in the ongoing world movement to “Empower Women." The movement has been gaining momentum and is being endorsed and promoted by various international organizations, particularly the United Nations. Both the United Nations Human Development Report (2002) and the Arab Human Development Report (2002) include goals for "the complete empowerment of women." The Human Development Report even has a gender empowerment measure (GEM) that assesses gender inequality in economic and political opportunities.

The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women from the Office of the High Commissioner of Human Rights of the United Nations is the most blatant example of the efforts to alter the unique status of the genders.

One of the main objectives of this committee is the following: "Aware that a change in the traditional role of men as well as the role of women in society and in the family is needed to achieve full equality between men and women... States Parties shall take all appropriate measures: to modify the social and cultural patterns of conduct of men and women, with a view of achieving the elimination of prejudices and customary and all other practices which are based on the idea of the inferiority or the superiority of either of the sexes or on stereotyped roles for men and women."

As is evident in the statement, this committee outwardly takes aim at religion and culture, expressing the view that "cultural and religious values cannot be allowed to undermine the universality of women's rights." They have said, that "in all countries, (one of) the most significant factors inhibiting women's ability to participate in public life have been the cultural framework of values and religious beliefs."

The Committee, in fact, has gone so far as to instruct Muslim nations that they must reinterpret the Noble Quran in ways that will better comply with modern social trends. The CEDAW Committee instructed Libya to alter its reading of the Quran with the following language:

... Members felt that the interpretation of the Quran had to be reviewed in the light of the provisions of the Convention and in the light of the current social environment....Efforts should be made to proceed to an interpretation of the Sharee'ah (Islamic Law) that was permissible and did not block the advancement of women.
The Government was urged to take a leading role in its interpretation of the Sharee'ah as a model for other Islamic countries.

It is difficult to imagine more treacherous or deliberate attacks on the values of religion, religious life, and the family. The principal goal of these organizations is to eliminate the traditional roles of men and women and replace them with the concept of "equality" or sameness. This is a feminist goal that has been operating during the last 50 years or more. The view of feminists is that women should be freed from the "bondage" of motherhood and allowed to participate equally with men in all aspects of life outside the home (i.e., economic, political, social). Childbearing and rearing are viewed as somehow "ignoble" and are discouraged. The role of motherhood has been denigrated and seen to be less valuable than a career outside the home. Inherent in all of this is a hostile attitude to longstanding notions of marriage, the natural family and the rearing of children.

There are some positive aspects to "empowerment of women" such as reducing discrimination, increasing education and literacy, improving quality of life, but with those efforts come the negative aspects as well. The insidious nature of the process is where the danger lies. For while on the face, there are honorable goals, the ultimate consequence is weakening of the family structure; the foundation upon which society is built.

A critical look will reveal that "Empowerment of Women" ultimately means that (super) women:
1. Work two jobs instead of one, having primary responsibility for the home and children even though they also work outside the home.
2. Often work in male-dominated environments, having daily contact with non-Mahram men.
3. Are forced to put their small children into daycare, even infants as young as 6 weeks old.
4. Spend, on an average, only 30 minutes a week in meaningful conversation with their children.
5. Suffer from depression two or three times the rate of men, along with other types of psychological distress, such as anxiety, stress reactions, etc.
6. Experience conflict between their feminine traits (e.g., nurturance, deference, affiliation, etc.) and the characteristics necessary for career success (e.g., assertiveness, autonomy, independence, etc).

It is not only the women who suffer, but the whole society as well. A look at the self-destruction of nations in the West, where motherhood is devalued the most, provides enough evidence. The murder, the drugs, the abuse ...these nations are crying out for their mothers; for it is the mother who provides stability to the community. It is the mother who will sacrifice all that she has for the sake of her children. It is the mother who will raise righteous children who will benefit society.

Allaah has created systems with balance and order, and when those systems are disrupted, humans suffer the consequences. The family is a system and it functions most effectively when the laws of nature and the laws of Allaah are implemented. Allaah Says what means: "Men are in charge of women by (right of) what (qualities) Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend (in support) from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding (the husband's) absence what Allaah would have them guard…” [Quran 4:34]

Allaah has made it clear in this verse that men are the protectors and maintainers of women and He has created each gender unique from the other. This in no way implies inferiority of one gender over the other, but it means that each gender fulfills specific functions and roles. Both roles are honorable and operate in a complementary manner. If Allaah had intended for men and women to be equal or then would it be necessary to have genders?

For Muslim women, we must realize that we do not require this type of "empowerment" or "liberation"; for the Muslim woman is already liberated. Her liberation comes through submission to her Creator and Sustainer. When we submit to Allaah we are liberated from the shackles of our selves and the deceits and trappings of this world. It is the "empowered" woman who works two jobs, both home and outside, who is actually in bondage and in need of freedom.

Muslim women have all the “power” that they need in this world and that power is Islam. Allaah has given us exactly what we need to be successful in this life and no convention or human law is going to improve upon that. Motherhood is an honorable gift given to us by Allaah and no one has the right to degrade that or take it away. In Islam, motherhood is held in the highest esteem, reflecting its significant nature. For, it is the righteous mothers of this world who will build healthy, stable and peaceful communities; not the CEO's of companies.


www.islamweb.net

Lovesickness.

By no means is love a sickness in and of itself. Indeed, it is the only known cure for many of the problems and ailments that we as human beings suffer from. However, love can turn into an illness if it becomes obsessive, if it goes beyond its proper bounds, or if the object of love is not worthy. When such a situation develops, love indeed becomes a sickness requiring a remedy.

It is Allah’s order in the world that he sends down to it no affliction without sending down with it its cure. Love is no exception.

The treatment of this illness is as follows:

1. As with all diseases, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

This is why we must lower our gazes and resist taking a second glance at a member of the opposite sex who attracts us. Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity…” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 30-31]

We can see how Allah first issues the command to believing men, then repeats the command for believing women, thus emphasizing the importance of lowering our gazes. The fact that Allah addresses members of each sex individually shows just how important and relevant this matter is to people of both sexes. Indeed, these verses are one of the few occasions where Allah addresses men and women separately in the Qur’ân.

The look is the beginning that can lead to progressively greater ills. This is why Allah mentions it first, and then follows it up with the command for us to guard our chastity.

A poet long ago observed:

A glance, a smile, a friendly hello,
Some chatting, a date, then off they go!

If some of us find it difficult to carry out this command, they should write these verses down on a sheet of paper and hang them on their wall or place them on the dashboard – whatever it takes to remind them.

2. Thinking about the consequences is often a sobering dose of medicine.

The ability to think about the far-reaching consequences of our actions is one of the distinctive qualities that set humanity apart from other animals. This is why a person just does not go ahead and do everything that tickles his fancy. He first has to think about what is behind it and what will come of it.

For instance, he might pause to think, before embarking upon a certain course of action, that if he does so, he might succumb to AIDS. He might reflect upon how that dreaded disease has already claimed tens of millions of lives, how some of those who were careful – who chose only one sexual partner who even had an AIDS test – nevertheless came down with the disease.

How many people like that do we hear about, some of whom come out and admit that the disease befell them as a punishment from Allah, and hoping that it might at least expiate for their sin?

The same can be said for all the other sexually transmitted diseases. The worst thing of all is to think that an indiscreet man can infect his pious, faithful, and chaste wife with one of these vile diseases.

Another consequence to think about is pregnancy. A man who had repented for his sins once admitted to me that he had intentionally chosen to involve himself with a woman who was sterile. Regardless, Allah wanted her to fall pregnant and she did.

We should not be heedless of the consequences of our actions. Does anyone want to be responsible for someone coming into this world with no idea who his father is; someone who starts out life already disadvantaged?

Maybe one of us will pay the price for his misdeed in this world. Maybe he will get away with it here, going through life unrepentant and unscathed, only to be humiliated for it before the eyes of all on the Day of Judgment.

Some of the evil consequences of this behavior are psychological in nature. A man, once enamored of women, gets to the point that he can never be satisfied. He eternally craves variety and no degree of beauty is enough. Because of this, he may find himself eternally forbidden the lawful pleasure to be found within marriage. His senses and his sentiments have all been dulled.

Some young men travel abroad and spend their time in the company of prostitutes and other women of ill repute, but if one of them were ever to hear that his wife back home so much as looked at another man indiscreetly, he would divorce her on the spot.

One man lamented: “I would forsake all the women of the world for the sake of one woman whom I knew would get worried if I came home at night a little bit late.” This is the sentiment of any man who possesses wisdom.

3. The communion of lawful love is the best cure of all.

All of the stories of love that we find in our literature – whether it be that of Jamîl and Buthaynah, Kuthayyir and `Azzah, Qays and Laylâ, or for that matter their English equivalent Romeo and Juliet – deal with the anguish of unrequited love.

Allah has placed in what is lawful all that we need so we can dispense with what He has made unlawful. It provides the most fulfilling, satisfying, and deepest expression of love.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “We see for those who are in love nothing better than marriage.” [Sunan Ibn Mâjah (1847) and Mustadrak Hâkim (2724) with a good chain of transmission]

Lawful matrimony is what brings healing to the heart and removes its disquiet. If it is not written for a certain man and women to come together in matrimony, each of them should have faith that there are many others out there with whom Allah can enrich them with a meaningful and loving relationship.

4. Resignation and a willingness to forsake what is wrong.

No matter how painful it may be to part, it is sometimes necessary. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever maintains his chastity, does so with the grace of Allah. Whoever finds self-sufficiency does so with what Allah has enriched him. Whoever is patient draws his fortitude from Allah. And no one has been given a gift better or more bountiful than patience.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (1469) and Sahîh Muslim (1053)]

Whoever gives something up for Allah’s sake should know that Allah will give him in its stead something far better.

5. Channeling one’s energies and abilities into what is nobler, more precious, and sublime – the love of Allah

We express this love by bringing benefit to His creatures, by our obedience to Him, by our prayers, our fasts, our remembrance of Him, our supplications, and our humility. We do so by keeping the company of righteous people and by aspiring to the noblest and most beneficial of goals.

We should channel our energies into what benefits us in our worldly lives and in our faith. Allah says: “Seek Allah’s help with patience and perseverance. It is indeed difficult except upon those who are humble.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 45]

He says: “Whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him.” [Sûrah al-Talâq: 3]

A heart that is full of concern for others will be a heart that is full of love – but not a slave to love. It is an empty heart that falls stricken for any visitor who graces its doorstep.

We should take full advantage of our lives and be as productive as possible. We need to develop our talents, our minds, and put our creativity into practice. Yes! Be enamored – but be enamored of truth and knowledge. Be fully in love – but be in love with righteousness.

By:Sheikh Salman al-Oadah

Ridaa Bil Qadaa- Contentment with Allah's Decree.

At every stage in life, things are pre-ordained a certain way, which we might not like. Accepting them, however, will help us attain peace of mind.

Often since motherhood, I have caught myself critically analysing my reflection in the mirror: the added inches on the waist, the half-circles under the eyes, the white hair in the forelock that is now making its debut, and the slight double-chin. “Youth is wasted on the young” I muse. A few moments later, however, I realise what is happening, and chastise myself to stop it.

There was a time when I used to fantasise over open textbooks as an undergrad student - younger, fresh-faced and skinny - about whom I’d marry, how many children I would have, and what kind of family life I’d have beyond my twenties. With a start, I realise how, despite being given everything I wanted, I am instead brooding on that which I do not have anymore. When I had that narrow waist, I used to visualise myself with a baby bump!

The verb “qadaa” in Arabic means to decide, settle or judge. As a noun, Al-Qadaa refers to a binding decision that has been made. “Ridaa Bil Qadaa”, therefore, is a phrase that refers to a person’s pleasure with that which has been decreed by Allah. It is a state in which they do not feel ingratitude for their lot in life, but instead revel in a blissful, acquiescent acceptance of everything that Allah has pre-ordained for them.

It is common to behold the wistfulness people feel when they hear about the blessings of others. When a friend of ours got engaged during university, we were all happy for her, but when she started receiving lavish gifts from her in-laws, we sometimes found ourselves wishing to be in her place. As more friends got married, those who were single felt pangs of unhappiness and impatience at the arrival of their appointed time for marriage – their qadaa. Some wondered if it would ever arrive.

Every one of us experiences a vicious cycle of such feelings throughout life. After marriage, how quickly we forget our single days, and anxiously await the blue line on the pregnancy test. Once our first-born is a toddler, when we hear of a sister having her third baby, we start desiring our second one. Eventually, it’s the bigger house in the suburbs, the family van, and the foreign vacation. Every time, when Allah gives us what we pine for, we forget how we longed for it, and move on to the next item on our wish list.

It is a fact that Satan, our avowed enemy, tries to make us ungrateful for Allah’s blessings and favours upon us. He always reminds us of the things we do not have that we think will make us happier; making us dwell on what others have which we don’t; and making us despair of imminent relief from trials which we are facing in life.

The strategy that we should use to achieve Ridaa Bil Qadaa for ourselves has been provided for us by Islam. Prophet Muhammad SWT gave us the following advice:
“Look towards those who rank below you, so that you may get used to being thankful, and do not look at those who rank above you, lest you should despise the favours of Allah upon you” (Ibn Hibban).

The key to achieving Ridaa Bil Qadaa, therefore, is to consciously look only at those lower than us in worldly status and possessions, and deliberately refuse to look at, or think about, people who have more worldly blessings (talent, wealth, social acceptance, familial prestige, or good looks). Only when a believer obeys this advice of the Prophet r, will he be pleased with what Allah has decreed for him. Simultaneously, he will be able to eliminate envy, avarice, and competitiveness from his relationships with people.

Interestingly, the strategy recommended in the above hadith also exists in contemporary psychiatry and life coaching. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) involves making a person alter his thinking by identifying each negative thought, assumption, belief or behaviour, and countering it with a forced, positive, beneficial one. In fact, Islam’s teachings of not suspecting ill from others, harbouring positive hopes for the future, focusing on the blessings we possess, and overlooking others’ weaknesses and misgivings, entirely embody the ‘positive thinking’ approach needed to achieve Ridaa Bil Qadaa: the ultimate peace of mind.

Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:

“And wish not for the things in which Allah has made some of you excel others” (An-Nisaa:32).

Therefore, the next time a sister’s spacious house makes you bemoan your cramped one, or your husband’s layoff undermines your financial security, or you hear of the impending marriage of an umpteenth sister much younger than you, or if you are forced to move to another city or country from the one that you love, or you give birth to the fifth child of the same gender, and that nagging feeling of indignation and ungratefulness creeps into your heart,know that it is totally up to you to be happy and satisfied with what Allah has chosen for you. Dwelling upon the supposedly fairerseeming, better-off circumstances of others will not improve your situation at all; in fact, it will deplete your strength to face it with patience. Besides, everyone has problems; it is just that you don’t know what they are!

In order to help believers achieve Ridaa Bil Qadaa, performing istikharah before picking a course of action or making a major decision is prescribed in Islam. Part of the du’a of istikharah goes: “If You know that this matter is good for me, in the matters of my deen, my life, and the outcome of all my affairs, then decree it for me. And if You know that it is bad for me, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it, and make me pleased with it”. The latter part “make me pleased with it” enables a believer to achieve Ridaa Bil Qadaa even if the choice doesn’t work in his favour, knowing that if Allah willed it, it is good for him; this will make him satisfied with the outcome of that choice. He will never regretfully look back over his shoulder thinking “if only I...”

The wise believer struggles to harbour positive expectations of his future. He believes that if Allah has decreed something for him that he does not like, it is good for him - even if he cannot, due to limited knowledge and wisdom - decipher exactly how. Be it marital woes, injury, illness, infertility, or financial stress – we should accept the choices that Allah makes for us, remembering that He is merciful, and that His choices are best.


By Sadaf Farooqi

How to be successful in life.

Praise be to Allah.

Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and anxiety… these are what everyone wants, and these are the ways in which people can have a good life and find complete happiness and joy. There are religious means of achieving that, and natural and practical means, but no one can combine all of them except the believers; although other people may achieve some of them, they will miss out on others.

There follows a summary of the means of achieving this aim for which everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve many of them will live a joyful life and a good life; in other cases, those who fail to achieve all of them will live a life of misery and hardship. And there are others which are in between, according to what the means he is able to attain. These means include the following:

1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)” (Quran, 16:97)

Allah tells us and promises us that whoever combines faith with righteous deeds will have a good life and a good reward in this world and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allah – with sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds that change hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight path in this world and the Hereafter – follow principles and guidelines by means of which they deal with everything that happens to them, be it the causes of happiness and excitement or the causes of anxiety, worry and grief.

They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and giving thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they deal with them in this manner, that creates in them a sense of excitement and the hope that it will continue and that they will be rewarded for their gratitude, which is more important than the good things that happen to them. And they deal with bad things, worries and distress by resisting those that they can resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate, and bearing with goodly patience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as a result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits, experience, strength, patience and hope of reward, which are more important and which diminish the hardships they have undergone and replace them with happiness and hope for the bounty and reward of Allah.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) expressed this in a saheeh hadeeth in which he said: “How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him. This does not apply to anyone but the believer.” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 2999).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told us that the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds is always multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or bad.

2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of doing good.
This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and anxiety. By this means Allah wards off worries and distress from righteous and immoral like, but the believer has the greater share of that, and is distinguished by the fact that his kindness to others stems from sincerity and the hope of reward, so Allah makes it easy for him to be kind to others because of the hope that this will bring good things and ward off bad things, by means of his sincerity and hope of reward. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allah's Cause), or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allah, We shall give him a great reward” (Quran, 4:114)

Part of that great reward is relief from worry, distress, troubles, etc.

3 – Another of the means of warding off anxiety that stems from nervous tension and being preoccupied with disturbing thoughts is to occupy oneself with good deeds or seeking beneficial knowledge, for that will distract one from dwelling on the matters that are causing anxiety. In this way a person may forget about the things that are making him worried and distressed, and he may become happy and more energetic. This is another means that believers and others have in common, but the believer is distinguished by his faith, sincerity and hope of reward when he occupies himself with that knowledge which he is learning or teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that he likes and enjoys, for that is more likely to produce the desired results. And Allah knows best.

4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is focusing all one’s thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future or grieving about the past. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sought refuge with Allah from worry and regret, from regret for things in the past which one cannot put right or change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So one should focus only on the present day, and focus one's efforts on getting things right today. For if a person is focused on that, this means that he will do things properly and forget about worry and regret.

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said a du’aa’ or taught a du’aa’ to his Ummah, as well as urging them to seek the help of Allah and hope for His bounty, he was also urging them to strive to attain the thing they were praying for through their own efforts and to forget about the thing which they were praying would be warded off from them. Because du’aa’ (supplication) must be accompanied by action. So a person must strive to attain that which will benefit him in worldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to make his efforts successful, and he should seek His help in that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“Strive for that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allah, and do not be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say, ‘Qaddara Allah wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah decrees, and what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open the door to the Shaytaan.” (Narrated by Muslim).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) connected the matter of striving to achieve good things with the matter of seeking the help of Allah and not giving in to feelings of helplessness which are a harmful kind of laziness, and with the matter of accepting things in the past which are over and done with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of Allah will inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of two types:

1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to achieve whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or alleviate them. In such cases a person must strive and make the effort, and also seek the help of Allah.

2 – Matters where such is not possible, so he must have peace of mind, accept them and submit to Allah's will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will bring happiness and relieve worry and distress.

5 – One of the greatest means of feeling content and relaxed and of acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allah a great deal (dhikr). That has a great effect in bringing contentment and peace of mind, and relieving worry and distress. Allah says:

“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (Quran, 13:28)

Remembering Allah (dhikr) has a great effect in achieving this aim because it has a special influence and because of the hope that it brings of reward.

6 – Another of the means of bringing happiness and relieving worry and distress is striving to eliminate the things that cause worry and to achieve the things that bring happiness. That may be done by forgetting about bad things in the past which cannot be changed, and realizing that dwelling on them is a waste of time. So a person must strive to stop himself from thinking of that, and also strive to stop himself from feeling anxious about the future and the things that he may imagine of poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may happen to him in the future. He should realize that the future is something unknown, he cannot know what good or bad things are going to happen to him. That is in the hand of the Almighty, the Most Wise, and all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain the good things and to ward off the bad things. A person should realize that if he diverts his thoughts from worrying about his future and puts his trust in his Lord to take care of his situation, and puts his mind at rest concerning that, if he does that, then his heart will be at peace and his situation will improve and he will be relieved of worry and anxiety.

One of the most effective ways of dealing with worries about the future is to recite this du’aa’ which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to recite:

“Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa ‘ismatu amri, wa aslih li dunyaaya allati fiha ma’aashi, wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha ma’aadi, waj’al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa’l-mawta raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allah, correct my religious commitment which is the foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in which is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make death a respite for me from all evil).” (Narrated by Muslim, 2720)

And he said, “Allaahumma rahmataka arju fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘aynin wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not abandon me to myself even for a moment. And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You).” (Narrated by Abu Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49)

If a person utters these du’aa’s, which ask that his spiritual and worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper presence of mind and sincerity of intention, whilst striving to achieve that, Allah will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped for and striven for, and He will turn his worry into joy and happiness.

7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving himself of that is to think of the worst scenario to which that may lead, and try to accept that. When he has done that, then he should try to alleviate it as much as possible. By means of this acceptance and these efforts, he will relieve himself of his worries and distress, and instead of worrying he will strive to bring about good things and to deal with whatever he can of the bad things.

If he is faced with things that cause fear or the possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should deal with that by striving to make himself accept that, or something even worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of the thing and makes it seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself with efforts to ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as striving to achieve something good which will distract him from his worries about calamity, he will also renew his strength to resist bad things, and put his trust and reliance in Allah. Undoubtedly these matters are of great benefit in attaining happiness and peace of mind, as well as bringing the hope of reward in this world and in the Hereafter. This is something which is well known from the experience of many who have tried it.

8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts, such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred up by some grievous matter, or the expectation of bad things and the loss of good things, that will fill him with worries, distress, mental and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people have seen. But when a person depends on Allah and puts his trust in Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts overwhelm him, and he relies on Allah and has hope of His bounty, that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves him of a great deal of mental and physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength, comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how often have these things had an effect upon the hearts of many strong people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to foolishness and insanity.

It should be noted that your life will follow your train of thought. If your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy. Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is protected by Allah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that which will benefit and strengthen the heart and ward off anxiety. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him” (Quran, 65:3)

i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying him in his spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his trust in Allah will have strength in his heart and will not be affected by anything he imagines or be disturbed by events, because he knows that these are the result of vulnerable human nature and of weakness and fear that have no basis. He also knows that Allah has guaranteed complete sufficiency to those who put their trust in Him. So he trusts in Allah and finds peace of mind in His promise, and thus his worry and anxiety are dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy, fear is turned to peace. We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound, and to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and complete trust, for Allah has guaranteed all good things to those who put their trust in Him, and has guaranteed to ward off all bad and harmful things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you should count the many blessings that you are still enjoying, both spiritual and worldly, and compare them with the bad things that have happened, for when you compare them you will see the many blessings that you are enjoying, and this will make the bad things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa’il al-Mufeedah li’l-Hayaat al-Sa’eedah by Shatkh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Sa’di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allah may dispel worries and regret. These are as follows:

1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship)
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature)
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma’ wa’l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes)
4- Thinking of Allah as being above doing any injustice to His slaves, and above punishing anyone for no cause on the part of the slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person’s acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.
6- Beseeching Allah by means of the things that are most beloved to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes are al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allah Alone.
8- Affirming one's hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one’s trust in Him and leaving matters to Him, acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that He does as He wills, that His will is forever executed and that He is just in all that He decrees.
10- Letting one's heart wander in the garden of the Qur’aan, seeking consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfort to his grief and healing for his worries and distress.
11- Seeking forgiveness.
12- Repentance.
13- Jihad.
14- Salah (prayer).
15- Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters to the One in Whose hand they are.

We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound from worries and to relieve us of distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive, and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
See Alhomoom – Dealing with Worries and Stress, in the Books section of this site.
And Allah knows best. May Allah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.


Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid